KARIJERA I MAJČINSTVO? / moms and careers?

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Ova tema često mi se povlači po mislima. Da li je moguće stvoriti karijeru i istovremeno biti dobra majka? Iako već godinama često razmišljam i promišljam o tom pitanju, još uvijek nisam našla odgovor.

Često mislim da jedna strana mora patiti i da se istovremeno ne može biti posvećen poslu i obitelji jednako. Čini mi se da tu netko ipak na kraju izvuče deblji kraj, a opet često svjedočim primjerima majki iz okoline koje uspijevaju oboje. Vješto žongliraju između poslovnih i obiteljskih obveza. Ne mogu a da se ne zapitam kako to sve uspijevaju? Vodeći se svojim osobnim primjerom čini mi se teško. Posao u marketingu, prije 4 godine, zamijenila sam drugim, manje zahtjevnim poslom. Kod mene se javljala frustracija zbog vremena koje sam umjesto sa obitelji provodila na poslu. Dok nas je bilo dvoje, nije bilo takvog nezadovoljstva, posao me veselio i ispunjavao, no kako smo sa dvoje postali troje, kasnije i četvero, osjećala sam nezadovoljstvo zbog količine vremena provedenoga sa djecom. Činilo mi se da njihovo odrastanje prolazi mimo mene i više nisam bila sretna u takvom odnosu.

Prvo vrijeme nakon promjene posla, bila sam sretna i zadovoljna svojom odlukom, no kako oni rastu i postaju sve samostalniji ja se iznova preispitujem. Trebam li se opet okušati u nečem izazovnijem i zahtjevnijem, da li da opet iznova gradim nešto novo? Mogu li se posvetiti nečemu zahtjevnijem, a da ne pati vrijeme sa obitelji? Da li bi me to učinilo sretnijom i zadovoljnijom, ili bi se opet našla na starom mjestu?

Sva ta pitanja roje mi se u glavi, s vremenom sve češće i ne mogu to ne shvatiti kao znak da je vrijeme za promjenu. Na meni je da shvatim kakva je to promjena koju želim. Možda sam i ovaj blog krenula pisati iz tog razloga.

Odgovora na moje pitanje s početka ovog teksta ima vjerojatno koliko i majki. Svaka od nas zna što je najbolje za nju i njenu obitelj. Tako i treba biti. Trebamo shvatiti što je to što nas veseli i ispunjava, što je to što nas čini dobrom majkom. Uspješna karijera koja nam daje polet i u majčinstvu, „standardan“ posao koji nam ostavlja više vremena za obitelj ili majka kućanica. Svaki posao koji nas čini samopouzdanom, sretnom i zadovoljnom je pravi posao za nas.

I na kraju shvatiti da uspjeh ne podrazumijeva visoku plaću, dobar auto ili materijalni status. Uspjeh je biti sretan, zadovoljan sobom i svojim odlukama. Uspjeh je podići sretno i empatično dijete, koje će odrasti u osobu koja zna razmišljati svojom glavom, a složiti ćemo se da ništa od toga nije jednostavno kao što se čini.

This is a theme that I often think about. Is it possible to have a career and simultaneously be a good mother? Although I have been thinking about it for years, I still have no answer. I often think that something has to suffer, and that at the same time you can’t be dedicated to both. It seems to me that someone eventually gets a thicker end, but then again there are lot examples of mothers who succeed with in both. They easily juggle business and family responsibilities. I wonder how they manage to do it?

On the basis of my personal example, personally I find it difficult. I have replaced my marketing job 4 years ago with other, less demanding one. I was frustrated because I had spent more time at work than with my family. When there was just the two of us, there was no such dissatisfaction. When we became three-member and later four-member family I felt very dissatisfied with the amount of time spent with my children. It seemed that they were growing up without me, which made me really sad.

At first, after I changed my job, I was happy and satisfied with my decision, but as they got bigger and become more independent, I began to wonder should I have to try something challenging and demanding again? Should I build something new again? Can I devote myself to something more demanding? Would it make me a happier person or would I find myself miserable as before?

All these questions are occupying me more often, and I see it as a sign that it is time to change. It is up to me to figure out what kind of change I want. Maybe I started to write this blog for the same reason.

There are probably as many advices/replies as there are mothers.  Each of us knows what is best for her and her family. And so it should be. We need to understand what makes us happy and what is fulfilling for us, what makes us good mothers. A successful career that uplifts us as mothers as well, a “standard” job that leaves us more time for family, or being a housewife. Every job that makes us self-confident, happy and satisfied is a really good job for us.

Finally, success does not imply high pay, good car or material status. It is a success to be happy, satisfied with yourself and your decisions. It is a great life achievement to raise a happy and empathic child who will grow up to be a person who knows how to think.

We can agree that this is definitely not as simple as it sounds.

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